Joanna: Okay. I’m not the one who’s been flaking out at work. We're heading deeper and deeper into wildling territory. Samir: I have a question. You know what I Milton Waddams: Mr. Lumbergh told me to talk to payroll and then payroll told me to talk to Mr. Lumbergh and I,I still haven’t received my paycheck and he took my stapler and he never brought it back and then they moved my desk to storage room B and there was garbage on it and I don’t appreciate that… Tom Smykowski: You know there are people in this world that don’t have to put up with Samir: No, no. So he won’t be receiving a paycheck anymore, so it’ll just work itself out naturally. Peter Gibbons: Yeah. Steve: Yup. That is not right, Michael. But you go out there and find something that makes you happy. That’s my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. [he walks away] And I don’t need thirty-seven pieces of flair to do it. Michael Bolton: Okay, quit getting pissed at me, all right? They did it in Superman III. Peter Gibbons: No, that’s the jar. Drew: Really? Peter Gibbons: You’re right. "Deeper and Deeper" is a song by American singer Madonna from her fifth studio album Erotica (1992). Samir: What are you talking about Tom? No, you don’t understand. I was hoping you knew. Let’s pass it along and make sure everyone gets a piece. I just came to get my address book. Tom Smykowski: Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. The first thing we got to do is we got to close that account down before it gets any bigger. Joanna: Oh, really? I’m going to take the blame for it, I decided. You used to be addicted to crack? Peter Gibbons: I stole something. Joanna: Okay, shut up. Um ,you know what, Stan, if you want me to wear thirty-seven pieces of flair, like your, uh, pretty boy over there, Brian, why don’t you just make the minimum thirty-seven pieces of flair? I don’t even know what it means. Peter Gibbons: …twenty six thirteen, Michael! Mexican Waiter: Pinche gringo. It’s a bummer, dude, what can I say? Judge: Peter Gibbons, you’ve lead a trite and meaningless life. What it does is every time there’s a bank transaction where interest is computed, you know, thousands a day, the computer ends up with these fractions of a cent, which it usually rounds off. I hate this job! Then everything will be all right. We need to talk about your TPS reports. Michael Bolton: Wait. I was hoping you knew. Samir: Really? [he gets a slice of cake] He’s my unholy, disgusting pig of a boss! On the last few hours on Friday. Well those are whole pennies. Peter Gibbons: No, that’s the jar. I’m talking about the tray. Uh, first, Mr. Samir Nagahe… Peter Gibbons: No, thanks. Milton Waddams: Wait. And let’s take enough money out of that place so that we never, ever have to sit in a cubicle ever again. Samir: Okay, I’ll do it. Okay? [nervously he drops his drink] Peter Gibbons: You’re going to layoff Samir and Michael? He broke both his wrists, legs, a couple of ribs, his back. Excuse me? Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man; two chicks at the same time, man. I thought you were going to come in here and start shooting. I don’t think I’m going to do that, either. You know, I’m glad you’re here because I wanted to talk to you. Thumbs up their a**es. The young guy? I mean, he did help Anne lose weight. Not like we’re going to steal something. [shouting through the wall from his apartment] You two still going out? [after Peter’s just been told by the Bob’s that Michael and Samir are to be laid off] Peter Gibbons: Lawrence, you awake? So what? Steve: Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. Tell them you were sick. Thanks everybody, really. Milton Waddams: But I, I said, I, I don’t care if they lay me off either, because I told, I told Bill that if they move my desk one more time, then, then I, then I’m quitting, I’m going to quit. On one… I guess we all did. What happened? I’ve been cheating on you! Let me take a look at that. Joanna: Umm-hmm. [a slice is handed to Milton] It just helps me sell magazines. And now look at us now, we’re, we’re worried about going in to prison! Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon? [pointing to his head] I hope your firings go really well. Way, way down. Bob Porter: [to Lumbergh] We feel that the problem isn’t with Peter. Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses. Joanna: Hey, that is none of your business, okay? Michael Bolton: Wow, our last day at Initech. It’s about all of us together. No, you’re just this penny-stealing, want to-be criminal, man! When Peter’s friends, Michael Bolton and Samir Nagheenanajar (David Herman and Ajay Naidu), learn they’re about to be laid off due to downsizing, the trio plant a virus into the company’s banking system that will siphon money into Peter’s bank account gradually. Samir: Of course. Sir? Peter Gibbons: Samir, you came here looking for a land of opportunity. Samir: [rapping] Back up in your a** with the resurrection… Michael Bolton: Yeah, who’d you think I meant? Stan: Yeah. Yeah. The guy’s really good. Peter Gibbons: I want to take you out to dinner, and then I want to go back to my apartment and watch Kung Fu. Peggy: Just go and sit at your desk. Peter Gibbons: [smiling] I think I know someone who might want this. We, uh, lost some people this week and, uh, we need to sort of catch up. Peter Gibbons: What if you didn’t have a good job? Peter Gibbons: Good point. That was a bad idea. I have good networking skill. I always mess up some mundane detail. Yeah, I do. You know why? Two. I was just thinking maybe like, you know, a personal favor? Let’s try to figure this thing out together. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired. And I was told… Joanna: Yeah, but I’m not about to go in and start taking money from the register. Or maybe something to nibble on? Five years of your mid-twenties now, gone. Joanna: Right. Peter Gibbons: Yeah, is it? Peter Gibbons: Just coffee. Peter Gibbons: I think you’ll be okay. Peter Gibbons: No. Peter Gibbons: Ron’s not related to Bill, is he? What about it? We’re not asking you about money laundering. Oh, wait, you know what, that’s probably never going to happen, so just don’t call me, okay? Can’t you understand that? I’ll take my traveler’s checks to a competing resort. Milton Waddams: Yeah, but last time I didn’t receive a piece. Peter Gibbons: Yeah, they called me at home. Peter Gibbons: Yes? Michael Bolton: Tom, every week you say you’re going to lose your job and you’re still here. [Peter’s nightmare where Lumbergh is naked, having sex holding a foot in one hand a cup of coffee in the other] Peter Gibbons: You’re not working at Chotchkie’s anymore, huh? How is it that all these stupid, Neanderthal, mafia guys can be so good at crime and smart guys like us can suck so badly at it? No… Excuse me? [Peter can hear the sound of a radio coming from Milton’s cubicle which is next to his] So, if you wanted to fix old cars then you’re supposed to be an auto-mechanic. Lawrence: Hey, Peter, man. I know you had this religious experience or whatever the hell that was, but you better snap out of it and get your sh*t together or you’re going to get canned. Oh, that is terrific. We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Um, could you get me those TPS reports ASAP? Steve: Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. Here Peggy, you want to get everybody started there. Michael Bolton: Uh, no offense, there, Peter, but speak for yourself there, sport. Like a record. Michael Bolton: So, uh, we’re going to be okay, right? Joanna: Hey. Peter Gibbons: Listen, that virus you’re always talking about.